Last Chance: Thirty Minute Love Affair
by x-MJ-x
Summary: Final part of the 'Last Chances' trilogy. Does not need to be read in order they're just thematically linked . It's been years in offing and then at last it happens, they surrender to their feelings but this last chance at love is all it seems? Have the wasted their final chance at happily ever after? Nikki and Harry, of course.


**Hello lovely people, **

**Well this is it! The last part of the trilogy and I appreciate all the love I've had for it – thank you all, you're all beautiful. So, following my appeals for your input, I am going with an 'M' rating for this one (thanks to those of you who suggested it – you know who you are) so I hope you enjoy it. Although this is the last story in this set, it is by no means the last Harry and Nikki themed story I intend to publish so look out for a few more from me including a couple more one shots and my multi chaptered 'And Then I fell in Love' fic which is going to be republished with some amendments and then carried forward. **

**The title and theme of this story is inspired by the song of the same name by Paloma Faith, I can't get it out of my head and think it fits here, lyrics are reproduced as part of the story so credit where it's due. **

**My author's note is the same as ever: I DO NOT own Silent Witness its characters or plots and all recognisable dialogues will be clearly marked in italics. P.S: This one will be in the main told through a flashback which will be indicated in italics, just so you don't get confused. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_***** **__**30**__** minute love affair  
All in the blink of an eye  
There you were standing there  
I heard an angel cry  
Runaway lover  
I soon discovered  
It was best when we left it  
I'll never forget it  
Our 30 minute love affair**_

**_The city lead me out one night_**  
**_Through lonely streets and neon light_**  
**_Searching_**  
**_Again_**  
**_I met a stranger singing songs_**  
**_Sat in that doorway I belonged_**  
**_With him_**  
**_Just talking._**

**_He was so beautiful there in my dreams_**  
**_I left my heart and my memories_**

**_30 minute love affair_**  
**_All in the blink of an eye_**  
**_There you were standing there_**  
**_I heard an angel cry_**  
**_Runaway lover_**  
**_I soon discovered_**  
**_It was best when we left it_**  
**_I'll never forget it_**  
**_Our 30 minute love affair_**

**_He told me he'd be there tomorrow_**  
**_I knew where he led I would follow_**  
**_I flew_**  
**_And he knew_**  
**_When I went back he had disappeared_**  
**_My hopeful smile had turned to tears_**  
**_Let down_**  
**_No sight nor sound_**

**_Sometimes it's better just to let them go_**  
**_Cause your illusion's more than what you could know._**

**_30 minute love affair_**  
**_All in the blink of an eye_**  
**_There you were standing there_**  
**_I heard an angel cry_**  
**_Runaway lover_**  
**_I soon discovered_**  
**_It was best when we left it_**  
**_I'll never forget it_**  
**_Our 30 minute love affair_**

**_Falling from the sky for him I'll never_**  
**_Regret it_**  
**_He took my breath away_**  
**_And although it was the shortest time_**  
**_I'll never forget it_**  
**_He gave me such a beautiful lie_**  
**_Oh my_**

**_30 minute love affair_**  
**_All in the blink of an eye_**  
**_There you were standing there_**  
**_I heard an angel cry_**  
**_Runaway lover_**  
**_I soon discovered_**  
**_It was best when we left it_**  
**_Now I'll never forget it_**  
**_It was best when we left it_**  
**_Now I'll never forget it_**  
**_Our 30 minute love affair_**

**_30 minute love affair_**  
**_Our 30 minute love affair.***_**

* * *

Her hand slammed down onto the power button of the radio at just about the moment when the lyrics of the song began to truly resonate with her. For some reason, a deep feeling of hatred began to manifest itself within the usually calm, passive even, blonde pathologist and it was a hatred directed at the artist who had deigned it necessary to record such a song. She huffed out a breath. It was just a song after all, but she knew the cause of her feeling of sheer discomfort came from the fact that those words described almost to perfection, a situation in her not so distant past.

She blinked hard, two, three times and forced herself not to cry although she knew that tears were the reason her vision was so clouded. She took a breath, pausing for a moment to collect herself before she allowed her eyes to wander from her computer screen on which was displayed the latest result from the DNA analysis she had been running which might just be the clincher in the Greater London Police department's case against William Forester and finally they settled on the desk just across from the one she now sat at. His desk. Or hers. Depending on how you looked at it. But from this moment on, especially given recent events, it would always be his desk, a place she would never again deem it acceptable to sit at. Her eyes wandered the plain of its smooth wooden surface and she resolved that yes, it was _his_ desk.

Only it wasn't. At least not anymore. Not only was it bare of all connection to him owing to the fact that she had recently been charged with the task of clearing the desk, but it had also been commandeered by the newest member of the team, the name of whom she still couldn't call to mind. This fact did not worry her since the way she considered it, it was still too painful a thought to imagine that _he _could be so easily replaced. Of course she would have to learn his name, be civil even, when he became full time but until such time, she was happy to refer to him as 'the new guy who stole the desk.' She hardly knew where this particular strand of thought was taking her, so she was glad of the interruption Leo provided when he startled her out of her reverie.

"That clinches it then." He commented, his hand resting on the back of her chair.

"Hmm?" For a moment she was confused as she tried to refocus her attention on the work she should have been doing.

"William Forester. Ninety-nine-point-nine percent likely to have caused the death of Miriam Forester. It's a wonderful thing, this science of ours."

"Yes. Quite the result, Detective Cummings will be pleased." She replied sardonically, expressing her contempt for the detective whilst acknowledging that all the other woman's suspicions had been completely accurate after all.

"I'll tell her if you like." The professor offered and she nodded her assent whilst adopting an expression of relief. "Ah I see you finished it then, ironic really." he tipped his head towards the single box which now adorned the desk opposite hers filled only with the meagre _detritus _of his workspace and Nikki tried to discern what he meant but his last comment, but finding herself incapable she adjusted her reply accordingly.

"Wasn't much of a task. But then, why I'm surprised that he was professionally frugal is beyond me." She told him, her voice impressively coming across as detached, which was the last thing she felt right now, especially as her mind ran through the contents of that box.

"I think we were all surprised Nikki, by _all_ of this." He told her consolingly; although he had a feeling that nothing could soothe her right now.

They were silent for a moment and she tried to cover the slight sniffing back of tears she could not help by hitting 'print' and causing the machine to whir to life.

"Nikki..." Leo paused, his tone slow and considered as he tried to determine how best to proceed.

"What is it Leo, hmm? I know you didn't come in here to check on my progress with the analysis, I'm a big girl and I've done them hundreds of times before..." She went to continue but he cut across her.

"Who says I can't take an interest in this case?" He asked, his voice soft and gentle, which she took as a sign of bad news.

"Your face tells me." Nikki told him, observing his furrowed brow and concerned eyes.

"Am I that easy to see through?"

"You are to me. I know you remember? So come on, it can't be that bad, can it?" She asked with a laugh of familiarity.

"That depends on your perspective." He sighed, knowing he couldn't hide it from her much longer.

"Well the best thing to do with bad news is to share it, so come on. Let me have it." She told him, turning from her computer to properly face him.

"Nikki, it's Harry..." He murmured noticing how this was the first time his name had been voiced in this office since he had left almost three months ago.

"Harry?" The name proved too much for her and even she heard the tone of strangulation in the utterance. "What about him?" The question was harsh, bitter and almost spat out.

"It's today. You know how I mentioned that he had to come back at some point to hand in his exit interview? It's today. He's only here for a few minutes but he'll want to pick up his stuff I'm sure. Now, I just got a call to attend a scene in Surbiton..."

"Surbiton? What are we doing getting calls from a suburb beyond our Borough?" She asked, focusing on this rather than the other part of the news. "I don't suppose it matters, I'll take it, I don't mind." She told him, pushing up from her chair and straightening out the top she wore absent mindedly.

"No." Leo replied, placing a hand on her arm. "It's Ok. I've got this one. I'm going to take Jack out with me, show the 'newbie' how things are done at the Lyell Centre, I wouldn't want there to be any teething problems, now would I? Besides, I'm sure Harry will want to see you too." He told her, finishing quietly, as if in respect for something he wasn't even sure had had its time to get off the ground but which given what he knew about her, seemed almost undeniable.

"Leo please, don't make me do this." She almost begged, although she was no longer thinking about their present day conversation, her mind had been taken over with a powerful memory.

* * *

_Nine and a half weeks earlier..._

_It was raining and she dashed inside the quaint little bistro on the western side of Tower Bridge just in time to avoid the heaviest of it. After giving Harry's name to the front- of- house attendant, she was shown to a private booth ideally located for viewing both his approach from the road ahead and the river whilst she waited. It was a little after lunch – Harry had never been the most conventional of men – and so she ordered a glass of the house white, waiting patiently for his arrival. _

_She wasn't sure when the realisation actually hit her, it was more by process of logic and by an awareness that her waitress Sarah was taking pity on her with an extra glass of wine and, as a rather odd accompaniment to this, a cupcake on the house that she realised that she had been stood up by the one man for whom she had placed her heart on the line. _

_Soon, the distortion of everything beyond the bistro's window became more intense owing to the fact that not only were they in the middle of one of the worst downpours she could remember, but also she was crying and hating herself for doing so, but finding it impossible to stop. He had hurt her and she knew now that all of her doubts about changing their relationship in such a way, the one thing which had prevented her from hoping that they could ever be romantically happy all those years ago when she had realised that she had fallen for him, were entirely justified. _

_Eventually after an amount of time she had hardly been aware of passing, she paid for the wine and slipped out into the rain, hailing a cab and feeling grateful when it swept her away from that place. Looking down at her phone, she found herself unsurprised. He hadn't even called._

* * *

It was only now as she felt the tightness in her throat she had been trying to avoid and experienced a difficulty in regulating her breathing that she remembered why the voice of Paloma Faith had caused such a strong reaction from her a few minutes ago – her music had been playing that afternoon, in the background. Only the song was different then:

_**... "Her name was New York, New York and she stole his heart away from mine... New York and she poisoned his sweet mind." ...**_

Ironic. It was interesting that Leo had chosen that word only moments ago because that was exactly what she felt about that day. It was full of irony. New York. She should have known. Should have taken the hint but she had been foolish enough to believe that they had something – that he would be different with her than he had ever been with any of his other lovers.

"Leo please, I'd rather do the call-out."

"It'll be fine Nikki, I promise you that." He told her and when she made to protest further, she found herself talking to the air around her.

* * *

In her haste and desperation to make Leo understand why she really couldn't see Harry without disclosing any major information, Nikki realised that she had forgotten to ask him the one thing it was necessary to know – what time he was coming. The not knowing was the worst thing. She found herself unable to concentrate and it was certainly not for lack of work. Since they had been left in the lurch a member down, both Nikki and Leo's workload had increased two-fold and it was only after a particularly bad day during which Nikki had broken down, exhausted and stressed after her third night in a row as the on-call pathologist, that Leo had finally succumbed to the pressure from the powers-that- be about the functionality of the team as a three part unit of expertise. Hence Jack Hodgson. They had tried to convince themselves and just about everyone else around them that they could manage the day to day at the Lyell Centre perfectly well on their own, but in the end they had both had to admit that to avoid closure by the Home Office, they had to accept that hiring a third-hand was the only advisable option. So it was certainly not the lack of anything conducive to do with her time which caused the usually studiously committed Nikki Alexander to be at a loss for something to occupy her over active mind. Instead, it was the impending discomfort of Harry's arrival and not knowing how long she had to prepare for it, which currently distracted her.

She sighed, giving up any hope she had of getting any work done now and cast her eyes back over the box. Had she gotten everything? She got up, reaching the box and rifling through the contents; a few pens, a half finished Sudoku, his name plaque –which caused her throat to tighten even more – and then, there it was. The one personal effect in this whole box. She had made sure to push it right to the bottom when she had packed it and had to root for it now but it was still there. A photograph in a silver frame. A picture which caused emotion to rise within her the like of which she had never known before. It wasn't one of those great moments – not a Christmas party when they had drunkenly shared a kiss under the mistletoe, not anything significant but to the two of them. A picture snapped by some paparazzi photographer or other at the moment when the Lyell Centre had had to be evacuated almost four years ago. It was a moment caught quite by accident but there it was, emblazoned on printed paper for everyone to see and now immortalised in the frame which held it. An image which showed Harry wrapping his arms around her, trying to stave off the cold and the fear she had felt at that moment, degraded only by the caption printed beneath it, something he had folded out of sight when he had torn it from the paper and placed it here. It was a moment so simple and yet so descriptive of their relationship that she found for the first time in almost three months that now she was allowing herself to, she missed him. Not in any way more significant than as her friend, the person who would have held her up if she had been struggling with something like his absence in any other circumstances. At least she told herself she missed his friendship and only that as she made her way to the locker room behind the office and set about tidying herself up a little.

* * *

His fingers brushed across the depiction of her cheek as he pulled the frame from its precarious balance atop all those little things he had managed to collect during his time here. This was the whole reason he had come back today. It didn't matter that he would have had to have come back eventually – there were official things, like his exit interview and security pass, to hand in. But the unofficial, emotional reason for his return was that he missed her too much and he hoped that he might bump into her. Only he now found himself completely alone. Not that he had expected anything less, the Lyell Centre was always busy. So he contented himself with observing this stolen moment and trying to imagine her features into life before his eyes. He regretted what had transpired between them, of course he did, but he couldn't change it and he hardly knew how to make amends. What would he even say for example if he did happen to meet her? Sorry? That wouldn't cover it, how could it, when the thing that he had done was so tremendously awful?

As if in answer to his silent questions, his secret desire to see her again, he heard a commotion at the end of the corridor before the coded door to the offices buzzed and there she was, her arms laden down with boxes of papers. For a moment, he was shocked, if only because he had imagined himself alone but he quickly recovered, standing up a little straighter and waiting for her to spot him from behind the boxes.

The moment she set them down and realised the company she now had was electric. Although they swapped no words, their eyes were expressive enough and all those things he wished he could say were spoken through them. It was only as he registered the coldness in her eyes, the set of her shoulders, the defensive stance she adopted, that he knew how much he had truly hurt her.

"Nikki..."

"Don't." She deadpanned. "Don't say my name." She qualified. She had thought she would be fine – establish the walls and whatever she did, never let him cross them again but the moment she had laid eyes on him, she could remember it all and that hurt far more than she had thought anything ever could...

* * *

_Nine and a half weeks earlier..._

_This couldn't be happening, could it? How many times had he imagined this scenario? Well perhaps it was a little different in his head, but the result was the same. He had kissed her, properly for the first time and she had kissed him back. In that heated moment when jealousy and protectiveness had overcome him, he had thought that perhaps she was simply playing along - kissing him back for appearances sake. But no. He had been wrong. Minutes later, when he could no longer concentrate on Professor Abramsson's lecture on the astonishing importance of detailed kidney analysis in determining the cause of death during post mortems on an international scale, she had leant in close to him, her breath tickling at the space just below his ear, as she had murmured something about getting out of there. _

_For a second, just a split second, he had been too dumbfounded and shocked by her suggestion to consider that she was serious, or even if she was, that she meant to suggest what he had taken her to mean. But then he had turned his head just that fraction of an inch towards her, aware of the confined space and the amount of people around them and he had seen it in her eyes. Pure, unashamed desire which sparkled there waiting to be reciprocated. He had nodded, almost imperceptibly and in moments she was instigating a plan to free them from the boredom of the lecture and the pain of the rising desire he was now sure they both felt. _

_He had to take his hat off to her. She was the mistress of the escape plan. It might not have been the most sophisticated plan – staging a severe coughing fit – but it had worked, within seconds, the slight woman had slipped past the row of pathologists who were plugged into their audio loops and since his eyes had followed her every move, he was able to catch the triumphant wave she had given in his direction before she had slipped out of the door. He had waited a reasonable amount of time, then murmured his apologies to the older man who sat to his right for disturbing him once again as he got out of his seat, adding weight to their story by telling him that he was extremely concerned by the fact that his friend had not returned to the lecture which she had most been looking forward to this week. The man had simply shot him a quizzical look which told of his inability to understand the British man and then moved out of his way as he passed. _

_Once out of the lecture theatre which had seemed to be closing in on him, he had cast his eyes around the atrium and found surprisingly, no sign of her. Perhaps he had misread her after all. Just as he had been about to shuffle back inside for lack of anything better to do, he had felt someone tap his shoulder and was instantly flooded with relief. _

"_Not looking for me are you?" She had teased, her voice warm with laughter. _

"_Actually, I was looking for that woman who came out here dying of a rather unconvincing coughing fit – haven't seen her have you?" He had asked, trying to keep his cool lest he really had gotten the wrong idea. _

"_Oh well, don't quote me on it, but I think she feels much better." She had smiled and for a moment, they had stood in awkward silence. "You know," she said after a suitably long pause, "Leo really should stop sending us to these things. We'll be getting quite the reputation as the Lyell Centre's notorious escape artists." She had continued, harking back to an occasion which seemed so long ago now but which had ended a little like this. _

"_I don't think our professor will mind too much, I think for him, these things are just an occasion to 'live it up' courtesy of the Home Office, I don't remembering seeing him in there, do you?" Harry had laughed._

"_Come to think of it, I don't think I did." She had mused before continuing "Although he was talking to that woman, you know with the high cheek bones and severe bun, maybe he's with her." She had suggested, maybe Leo was moving on from Janet after even so short a time since their break-up._

"_Maybe he is." _

"_So..." Nikki had said when they had lapsed into silence again. _

"_So... Are we going to get out of here?" _

"_Sounds like a plan." She had agreed. _

_Which was how they had ended up here and he still couldn't believe it. He couldn't count how many times he had tried to wake himself from this fantasy – for that was what he believed it was – but every time he did all he was aware of was that she was behind him, clutching at his hand and letting him guide her, her body radiating warmth in the heavy and exceedingly damp air. _

_Usually he would have protested against running through the streets of a foreign City in the rain, but he guessed it was just something about the company which made him forget his complaints. He supposed the gentlemanly thing to have done would have been to have offered to have paid taxi fare, but this was just too precious a moment to be broken by getting into a cab and experiencing the associated awkwardness as they waited for the driver to take them to their destination. Which was where exactly? He hadn't known until it had become blindingly obvious. _

_It was her laughter and the heat of her body, the feeling of her hand in his which caused him to breeze past the concierge and reception attendants of their little boutique hotel in Stockholm without so much as a passing glance. It wouldn't have ordinarily been Harry's choice to have stayed somewhere like this, especially not for work, but the IPM had drawn crowds this year and this had been a last resort. As they got into the chintzy little lift and he hit the button for his floor, he found himself minding less and less. It seem to add to the moment, intensify the romance, if a romantic moment this proved to be. _

_His hand shook a little as he fumbled for his key and he realised it was not nerves about what would happen after they got in which set his body on edge but the thought of what she might do once he let go of her hand to unlock the door. Would that be it? Would she simply run away? Or would she stay? He needed her, wanted her to stay more than anything he had ever wanted in his life so he was careful to control himself and opened the door quickly. _

_Once it was open, he reached behind him, grateful and relieved to find her fingers already outstretched for his. He closed his own around hers and used this new connection to pull her into the room. The door slammed behind them and she was spun by the force of his pull, towards him like a dancer, elegant and graceful. He was ready for her when at last her body careened against his and their sodden clothing caused them to become pressed tightly together. For several long seconds they stood there in silence neither moving or speaking as their chests heaved in mutual anticipation. _

"_You're soaked through." He commented after a while as he moved her wet curls away from her forehead. _

"_Yes." She murmured breathily as he pressed a kiss to the exposed skin of her forehead and then tentatively allowed his lips to trail down her neck. She was glad he took her reply as encouragement. "So are you." She added after a moment, her fingers sliding across the soaked white shirt he wore and tracing the outline of his torso which was just visible beneath it. _

"_I feel like I should apologise – for kissing you in there, for dragging you out of the lecture, for getting you so wet in the rain..." He muttered between the kisses he was thrilled she allowed him to bestow upon her. _

_She was silent, enjoying the feel of his lips on her skin, a sensation she had longed for throughout the majority of her adult life. "...and for being such an idiot and never telling you how I feel about you... for..." He continued to ramble, so she pulled away a little, moving her head closer to his and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. Unsurprisingly, his words ceased. _

"_Huh. Still works. Interesting that." She laughed, thinking back to that time in that pub. She had thought life was changing for them and it had taken her until now, this moment to find any resemblance to the happiness she had found in that moment with any other man but the one who could make her heartbeat race with a simple kiss. _

_He appeared affronted for a moment, like she had used his own tactics against him – she supposed she had, but then his lips spread into a wide smile and they enjoyed the memory of that night and both experienced the pain of that wasted opportunity before he fixed her with an intense stare, one only he seemed able to harness and they were suddenly right back in this moment, in the here and now. _

"_Nikki I mean it, I'm sorry." He told her. _

"_Harry listen to me, there is no point in doing this. This blame game, this apologising it's going nowhere. What's done is done and I'm here, in your hotel room. Tell me, is Harry Cunningham going to waste another opportunity talking my ear off or is he going to help me take these off?" She asked, indicating her wet clothing. _

"_What?" The word seemed to escape him in a rush of air, almost as if he couldn't believe what she was suggesting and all off the back of one kiss. But it wasn't. This was them and this had been a long time coming. Of course that didn't mean he wouldn't congratulate himself on his skill and prowess as a kisser. _

"_Well, Harry, I'm wet. You're wet and if we stay in these wet things much longer, we'll both catch a cold so..." She encouraged, reaching for the now limp pussy-bow of her blouse and untying, with some difficulty, the wet knot there. _

"_Nikki I..." _

"_Ssh." She murmured, covering his lips again. "Come on Harry, I know you want me too." She whispered into the shell of his ear as she reached for his hands and guided them from their position around her waist up to the top button of her blouse. "Do it." She goaded, throwing her head back a little as his lips began to savagely caress her elegant neck and his hands began to work quite of their own accord. _

_It didn't take long for him to believe that she was serious and she had never been more grateful for anything in her life. This was a head rush the like of which she had not experienced before and it was all to do with this man and the feelings he inspired within her, feelings she could identify but which she knew it was too early to divulge. He made short work of the blouse despite the obstacle its dampness might have posed to him and soon, the wet fabric was shed and his lips lavished attention upon her skin. His slightly stubbly chin and the softness of his lips worked together to create a maddening sensation she knew her body would never forget. As his hands moved lower and he continued his attention to her upper body, she felt him touch areas she had never even known were desperate for his touch and yet, the moment he had touched them, she couldn't imagine ever being without those lips, without the ability to feel like this. _

_She gasped unrestrainedly as she heard the rain-stiffened zip of her skirt slide down and she felt her body become almost torn in two as her upper body arched away from him and her lower, most intimate self bowed towards him and all because he hadn't simply allowed her to step out of the skirt, but rather had thrust his hand into the gap created by the zip's unfastening and he was reaching for her underwear, his fingers finding his target although he was completely blind. As he pushed the lace knickers she wore aside and his fingers, confident and probing slid into her, she felt her body shake with desire, with need and pleasured pain. She let out a low moan as he worked her and her hand slid into his wet, slightly straggly hair, needing something to grip onto as he did things to her with just his fingers that she had never experienced before. He teased her this way for several long minutes, enjoying immensely, the ability to watch her losing control, having control robbed from her. She stood there, clinging to him in a state of undress, waiting for, hoping for and desiring only the next action of his fingers as they twisted inside of her, drawing her close to a very dangerous edge. _

"_You weren't wrong you know." He breathed heavily into her hair, kissing her forehead and dragging his lips over the entirety of her face as he lapped up the delicious noises she made. _

"_What are you talking about?" She managed to bite out although quite how she managed to find words was beyond her. _

"_When you said you were soaked through." He commented and she gasped again. _

"_Harry!" It was shock, more than anything, which caused her to make the exclamation. _

"_Does it offend you to know I think of you like that? Wet. Waiting for me." _

_She shook her head almost immediately, her eyes sparkling at this new turn "No." She told him forcing herself closer to his hand. "It turns me on. Please Harry. Let me finish, please... I need you to do this for me." She begged her eyes flicking shut as she concentrated on what she wished to achieve. _

"_Open your eyes." He demanded, waiting for her to comply. When she realised that his actions had come to a halt at her apparent act of disobedience, she obliged. "I want you to look at me when I send you over the edge. I want to see your eyes when I tell you I have waited almost eight years for you to tell me you want me like this." He growled, thrusting his fingers into her when she least expected it and catching her only as her knees seemed to become too weak to allow her to stand. _

"_Oh God. Harry..." She muttered when she had recovered enough to speak although she did not know what she intended to tell him. _

"_It's not over yet Nikki, I hope you know that. Not by a long stretch." He told her, his voice husky from the strain of trying not to be selfish, but it was hard. Watching her had almost sent him over the edge and now he craved release with her, in her more than anything. _

"_Harry..." She mumbled again but her words were silenced with his kisses and she felt herself being swept off her feet only seconds after the skirt had hit the floor, a forgotten witness to her extreme pleasure._

* * *

_Words were hardly necessary now, so driven were they by their actions and the intensity of the emotions behind every second they spent together. He carried her the short distance to the bed and laid her against the pillows like she was something breakable, something more precious than he had ever known and he allowed her the opportunity to divest him of his wet clothing. She did not dwell on the task as she rid him first of his shirt and then in quick succession, his trousers. He revelled in her mewls of delight as she let her lips trace the skin of his chest and her hands to feel the muscles of his back as they contracted and expanded with the effort of restraint. He shook with cruel pleasure as her tongue peaked out from between her teeth and swirled around his nipple. He could hardly imagine something so strange and yet so erotic. Their bodies slapped together in their dampness, increasing friction and making his intention clear, especially as her hand moved lower and she cupped him. He shuddered, uttering her name like she was the deity who could bring him salvation. _

"_Make love to me Harry." She whispered after several tense seconds, arching away from the bed as he dragged her bra straps from her arms and unhooked the clasp. _

_Their actions seemed to mirror each other from that moment on. As her hands slid down his body and divested him of his boxers, he had managed to rid her of her knickers and then for several seemingly endless seconds they were motionless as they appreciated the significance of what would happen next. _

"_Harry, I'm glad you kissed me, even if you were only trying to put that other guy off." _

"_Hey, it might have started out like that but the second I did it, it became real to me. I never imagined this would happen, I mean I might have hoped but..." He trailed off as he thought about how they had gotten from that lecture theatre to here on a bed, together in a hotel in Stockholm, completely naked and anticipating what would happen in the next few seconds. _

"_Maybe that's a testament to what a good kisser you are." She laughed, kissing him again as if to make sure. "Mm hmm. It's official, best kiss I've ever had." She sighed contentedly as his hands massaged her breasts seemingly with a sole purpose of making her moan, which he absolutely achieved. _

_Perhaps it was the new type of friction he had unwittingly created when he had begun to massage her, but suddenly something made them both freeze again as they both felt the awakening of Harry's desire. He watched her, stunning as she was beneath him – her hair beginning to dry and her body still glistening with the moisture of the rain – and he felt any vestiges of embarrassment he might have felt slip away. She wanted him. He wanted her, he loved her... although he knew he could not tell her yet, not like this, this was right- completely right._

* * *

_He would remember the moment of their union forever, if only for the noise which seemed to mutually escape them. It was like a pent up breath, a rush of air, a sigh of relief, a feeling of completion in one beautiful moment and he never wanted to forget what it felt like right now to be inside the woman he knew he was supposed to be with. Her body seemed to fly from the sheets, moulding with his and fitting him perfectly, this was it. This was what love felt like. He recognised that immediately and as her lips desperately sought his and she kissed him without restraint, he wanted nothing more than to tell her but this moment in the heat of a passion so intense that his emotions might be misconstrued as insincere, he did not want to risk his heart with the possibility that she did not feel the same way. _

_So instead he concentrated on bringing her the pleasure he had always dreamed of giving her, he focused all his attentions into his actions – his thrusts, his kisses and his silent reversal of their positions – so that his love might be felt if not voiced. She was never more beautiful to him to him than she was when she was above him, her bountiful body free and exposed to his roving eyes as she threw her head back and exulted in the pleasure and fulfilment she received from being with him. _

_When they came, not quite together but close enough that both were equally satisfied, she collapsed down onto him, not moving to disengage his connection with her as she bent her head and listened to the racing of his heart. _

"_Mm. Great kisser. Even better lover." She sighed to herself, allowing her fingers to twist into the slight dusting of dark hair on his chest. _

"_Nikki..." _

"_Harry?" She murmured his name as a question and he knew she was enjoying being able to say it in this moment as much as he enjoyed hearing it. _

"_Does it sound ridiculous if I say I think I've missed you all my life. Like this I mean?" He asked. _

"_Not to me. I think I've missed you too." She smiled. _

"_Nikki..." He spoke again after a few minutes. _

"_Yes Harry?" _

"_I want to be with you. You know that don't you? You know that's what this is?" _

_She felt her voice catch in her throat as she cried a silent tear of happiness. "Yes." She replied, pausing a moment before adding, "I want that too. I want to be with you." She told him with another smile which he caught. _

_They were quiet for several minutes and since it was mid-afternoon neither were ready to sleep despite their exertion but they were content to lay in the arms of the lover they had never really known they'd missed until they had become to each other what they had never been before. _

"_When we get back to London..." Harry started but she cut across him with a stricken voice. _

"_Please don't tell me we have to go back to the way things were." She begged. _

"_Wherever would you get that idea? Do you think I could ever go back – especially after I've been given all the 'goodies'?" He laughed, soothing her with a gentle kiss but receiving only a thump for his reassurances. _

"_That's just like you – to think of it like that and if you think that was even half of the 'goodies' I've got for you, I'll have to seriously consider my options." She teased suggestively, her voice containing that playfulness he found so sexy in her. _

"_Will you let me finish now?" He asked and she went to reply but he stopped her with a silencing kiss. "Thank you." He told her sarcastically when she took the hint and stayed silent. "Nikki, when we get back to London, will you go out with me – properly I mean? Lunch or dinner, a walk in the park, your favourite wine, coffee and... me. The works." He asked and she knew it had taken a lot for him to muster the courage to ask her out on a serious date. _

"_Bit backwards isn't it?" She joked, only because she couldn't quite handle all the emotions coursing through her. _

_He scowled at her but it was the type of scowl he had mastered which was ultimately forgiving. "Yes... or no Dr Alexander?" He asked although he could see the answer on her face. _

"_Oh..." She dragged out her contemplation "alright then." She felt it was best to keep this as casual as possible but she clung to him so he knew she was serious. _

"_So... that's yes?" _

"_Of course it is." She laughed at his confusion. _

"_So how does lunch at Butler's Wharf on the river sound?" He asked, thinking lunch was probably the better way to start. _

"_Lovely." _

"_1.30 ish, Saturday?" He asked, adopting her casual attitude. _

"_Perfect." She murmured. "It's a date." She continued after a while, kissing him and noticing how strange but good it felt to be going on a date with Harry. _

"_Very good." He replied, feeling her growing heavy against him as in spite of herself she began to fall asleep. _

_Several minutes passed and he continued to trace concentric circular patterns against her shoulder as he contemplated all that had passed. "Saturday at 1.30." He said to himself. "Maybe I'll get the chance to tell you I love you." He mused unaware of his audience..._

* * *

"I... I just wanted to see your face Nikki, that's all." He told her now and it was true, he'd been away for almost three months and whilst he had missed the Lyell Centre, missed his work and indeed London itself as well as the team he had worked in here,the one thing he had missed more than anything had been her – seeing her face, talking to her, being around her. He had just missed _everything _about her and Harry Cunningham had never felt that way about anyone before.

"My face?" She scoffed. "You just wanted to see my _face?_ I wouldn't have thought that would have been any trouble for you. It certainly isn't for me, every time I close my eyes I can..." She drew up short not wanting to let him see her pain or to know just what she remembered about that afternoon.

"It's pouring out there, it was from the moment we landed, it made me think of you." He told her quietly, sadly.

She stayed where she was, safe behind her desk, appreciating the distance it necessarily created between them as he moved further into the office and made to come towards her.

"Rain? That's what you want to talk about? Ok, let's talk about rain. It was raining _that_ day too. Not that you would know about that." She bit out, thinking about being in that bistro all alone as she waited for a man who was never going to come. "_1.30 ish, Saturday. _Any of this sounding remotely familiar to you?" Her throat began to hurt from the effort of not crying and she folded her arms defensively across her body.

"Oh God. Nikki, I'm so sorry." He told her and even though it seemed to be in earnest, she could take no comfort from it.

"Sorry. You're _sorry_? Three months and one word is all you have to say to me?" She didn't know why she was surprised by this in all honesty.

"What else can I say? I know that apologising doesn't begin to cover what I did to you, how I treated you but I don't know what else I can say..."

"I waited for you and I waited and I waited but you didn't come."

"I know."

"Do you have any idea what that did to me? I... we... I thought that I was something special to you and then you go and you do that to me."

"Nikki..."

"No. You had your last chance Harry and you blew it. Worse than that. You deserted me. Do you know, it would have been easier if you had just not turned up. If you'd come back on Monday and pretended that nothing had happened the week before on that Wednesday, that you hadn't missed a..." she paused unable to say the word before she continued, " meeting me but the worst of it is that come Monday, I didn't see you for dust. Then Leo told me you had left – for America of all places. Way to send a message to a girl Harry."

"Nikki it wasn't like that I promise you." He tried to explain but he knew that must have been how it looked to her.

"Oh no?" She asked, swiping the tears she resented crying, from her eyes. "So what was it like?" She challenged, sure he would fail to explain it.

"It wasn't a snap decision for starters. New York was a part of my plan for the New Year. Leo had been aware of it for months and had obviously tried to persuade me to stay but I was set. I just, I felt like it was time to move on. I don't know, I had a drunken Christmas I suppose and I was feeling reflective and when I looked at my life's achievements, they really didn't amount to enough to make me proud. So I dug around a bit and found my contact in the New York office. By the thirty first of December it was all in motion, come the New Year, proceedings would get underway for my transfer in August. What can I say Nikki? My professional life here wasn't much to shout about, everyone here knows I was only interested in the big time – or at least that's what they think and personally what did I have here?" He paused a moment and saw her face contort in pain at being reduced to nothing.

"You don't understand. This was at Christmas. Even you have to admit we weren't ourselves then, we weren't putting on a good enough show of our friendship and besides, I realised I didn't want that anymore. I wanted you, I wanted to be with you, I wanted you to let me love you and yet, I couldn't have felt further from you. So in my foolish mind I had nothing here anymore. That's why New York. I did it, then I put it to bed and didn't think about it again. By the time we arrived in Stockholm if someone had of reminded me that I had a contract starting within the week, I think I would have been the most shocked of all and then of course there was what happened whilst we were there and it really opened my eyes to what my life could be like, it was like someone had given me my last chance with you and I didn't want to waste that Nikki. I didn't."

"But what?" She asked when he paused for a breath, "you decided what happened in Stockholm had to stay in Stockholm is that it?"

"No! Not at all. What happened in Stockholm was amazing and like I said, it exposed me to the kind of life I could have with you and everything was perfect..."

"Oh, so you got cold feet?"

"Cold feet? What do you mean?"

" '_Maybe I'll get the chance to tell you I love you'_. I wasn't asleep I _heard _you. Was that a lie?"

"A lie? No. Of course not. Everything I said to you then was true and I meant it. My feelings for you didn't change, they still haven't."

"If that's true then why did you leave?" She sounded so defeated, her voice so small as she asked this big question.

"Honestly? I don't know Nikki." He told her, but then he looked at her, forcing her to hold his gaze across the short distance and continued. "Actually, that's a lie, I do know why. America was set, the New York office were ready to have me on their team and the feelings I had for you were so strong that I was more nervous than I ever thought I would be. Things between us hadn't been perfect and then suddenly they were and then... This is going to sound ridiculous but it's true. We had that amazing day in Stockholm _and then I fell in love_."

"...and then you fell in love? That still doesn't explain why you needed to be thousands of miles away. Was it really so terrible to find yourself in love with me?"

"No! That's not what it was about, I just needed some space to figure this out."

"Space? Taking a few days off would have been space, moving to Cornwall I might have considered space, but New York? That isn't space – that's a whole world away."

"I'm sorry." He said again, "I really never meant to hurt you like this. You have to believe that was never my intention." He told her sincerely.

"Well you did." She deadpanned, "So did you find it, whatever you were looking for? Your space, your time..." She asked a little sarcastically.

"I did find out one thing, something I should have realised from the beginning." He replied, choosing not to bite at the sarcastic tone of her voice.

"What was that?" She asked in a tone which suggested boredom but which secretly couldn't have been further from it.

"That I really missed you Nikki. It's not even been three months and I just really missed you. I missed everything it is possible to miss in a person and so much more because I've known you as my friend and my lover and then suddenly you're not there as either and I need you in my life."

"Oh really?" She replied casually, trying hard to bite back the tears. "Well we've barely even noticed the difference here to be honest. Let me fill you in on some of the things you've missed since you left us for your "life journey". Janet was seconded to Northampton to work as a profiler for their police department sparking Leo to fall into his old, slightly scary habits again. Zak got a job with Imperial College doing stem cell research and me? I've been the on-call pathologist for the Greater London area almost every night for six weeks. Do you know how many hours' sleep I've lost in that time? No, well you wouldn't I suppose given that you're on American time now. Let me give you some clue though – the Home Office almost disbanded us because of the pressure we were put under, because of my near-descent into depression. Until Jack Hodgson 'rescued' us. Let me tell you about Jack – he's a self-confident, self-centred, self-indulgent, arrogant, insensitive... _man_ and you know what? He fills the shoes of his predecessor perfectly, so tell me Harry – why exactly would I miss you, why would Leo?" She asked pausing to take the heaving breath that she desperately needed after her outburst.

"Nikki I'm sorry, I don't know how many times I can say it, but I know that this isn't you. I've done this to you and I'm sorry."

"What did you think Harry? That you could just come home when you'd shagged enough American students and everything would be the same? Were you really so conceited as to believe that you weren't replaceable? Because let me tell you Harry, we're doing fine without you. _I'm_ doing fine without you." She would have almost been convincing if she hadn't chosen that moment to break down completely and Harry being Harry, he never could stand to see her cry, so he closed the distance between them.

Everything which should have told him to respect her wishes had deserted him the moment he had seen her cry and as soon as he was close enough to reach for her, he had pulled her into a rough hug, his arms wrapping securely around her and holding her close even when she tried to pull away until eventually she relaxed into him and let her body shake through her tears.

"I hate that I miss you so much." She told him retracting all of her harsh words, her breath warm against his cheek.

"I know."

"No Harry, you don't know." She told him, angered again but refusing to let him go.

"So tell me." He encouraged, brushing her hair away from her face.

"I can't forget you Harry, I try but I have a constant reminder of you, one I don't want to lose."

"What do you mean?"

"Haven't you noticed?" She asked with a small laugh as she took a reluctant step back and allowed her hand settle on the protrusion of her stomach.

"What? You're... pregnant?" He swallowed nervously, feeling even worse now than he had before. That was why she had been hiding behind the desk.

"Yes and if you dare ask me if it's yours, my hormonal body may just instruct me to kill you." She told him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He was not accusatory, more curious, surely she knew that this was a game-changer. Of course he believed that the baby was his, he hadn't even doubted that for a second. But he could understand why she would think he wouldn't want to know, what evidence had he given her to the contrary?

"How? Your mobile number didn't work anymore and it wasn't like I had an address. I didn't know immediately Harry and I wasn't sure I was ever going to tell you. If you hadn't have come back today, you wouldn't have known."

"How are you... both of you?" He asked sheepishly, knowing he had no right whatsoever to question her decision not to tell him.

"You're asking that now, you go off to America without a thought and now because you feel you have to ask you want to know how I am? Well alright, I'll tell you. Better yet, I'll show you." She went to her bag and rifled through its contents until she found what she was looking for.

"I'm nine and a half weeks pregnant." She told him handing him the copies of the ultrasounds she had had already.

"Nine and a half weeks? But I thought scans only started at twelve?" He asked in confusion.

She drew a hand across her bump protectively again and began to reply, somewhat coldly. "Intermittent bleed, five weeks. Emergency scan." She told him thinking back to the lonely, frightening time she had spent waiting to hear whether she was going to miscarry so early on. "Again, seven weeks, more bleeding. It's not usual for them to give scans at all under any circumstances until beyond twelve weeks. But I have a friend in obstetrics and she knew how important this baby – _your _baby- is to me. So she did this for me and fortunately, our baby is fine."

"Thank God." He murmured. "What about you Nikki? I feel terrible, you should never have had to have gone through that alone. I should have been here. You know me, I would never want to be a runaway father – not after what happened with Penny – and especially not with you, or to our child."

"Yeah," she sniffed, trying to dry her tears "well you didn't know, so you're not exactly a runaway father. Just a runaway lover." She sighed, her tears catching up with her and stealing her breath.

"How can I make this better?"

"Harry, you can't that's the point. It's done and whatever we had is over."

""But it isn't, it was just the beginning, you're having a baby –_ my_ baby. _Ours_. That changes everything."

"What does it change?" She asked "You don't even live in the country anymore. Are you really telling me that you would give all the things you have in America up for me... for us?" She asked, her tone expressing clear doubt.

"Give me a chance to prove that to you." He begged, clasping her hands in desperation.

"Harry you had your chance, it was a last chance and it's gone."

"I don't believe that Nikki, I love you, I know you love me too."

"That's irrelevant now."

"Nikki please..." She cut him off before he could continue.

"No Harry. You broke my heart. I don't think it will ever heal."

"You don't mean that."

"I do Harry, I can't do this."

"But I love you."

"I love you too." She told him opening her arms and encouraging him into her embrace. "It was a lovely thought and... Stockholm really was amazing." She sighed, her tone already distanced. "But it's in the past, it has to be."

"Come back with me." He begged after a moment, a last ditch attempt at saving his chance with her.

"You're not listening to me Harry, my life is here. There was a time when yours was too." She told him sadly.

"But we could start fresh in America."

"I don't need to be on a different continent to have a life with you Harry, I thought that was how you felt about me too, but I can't sit around here forever lamenting a life we could have had either."

"What are you saying?" He asked, hope sparkling in his eyes and coming through in his voice.

"I'm saying I've been right here all this time and I will be here still but I won't wait for you forever."

"Nikki..."

"Stay with me Harry." She breathed and it was a request which was almost imperceptible. Had there not been complete silence surrounding them, he knew he would have missed it. He also knew its significance, this was no simple request to stay for the night, this was a forever kind of commitment and he understood that.

"Do you really mean that?" He asked letting himself be governed only by uncertainty.

"Well Harry the thing is, as much as I don't want my heart broken any more than it already is, what I want even less is to be standing here when you leave, knowing I could have done something about it. So, will you?"

"Will I what? He teased.

"Stay. Here. With us." She told him, taking deliberate care to be slow about it so that would understand, placing her hand back on her bump so that he would also know exactly the commitment he was making to her and to the way that this would work – either he accepted both her and the baby, or he didn't have her at all.

He regarded her for a few tense seconds before replying "Did you really have to ask a second time?"

"Why can you never give me a straight answer?"

"Well, let me make it simple for you: I'll stay, if you'll have me."

"Oh , I see. Coincidentally, I'll have you if you stay." She replied, their old humour a comfort to her.

They were silent for a few moments more before she spoke again "so do we have a deal?" She seemed nervous, he guessed she had the right to be.

He shook his head 'no'. "Better. We'll have a relationship. If that's what you want." He told her.

"It is." She replied and saw him breathe a sigh of relief.

"_Very Good." _This seemed to be his only way of expressing his delight when he was around her. "So, are you going to come here then or not?" He asked with a smirk.

She made no verbal reply but instead crossed the small distance which had been created in their emotional exchange and stepped into his embrace. Their lips found each other as if by instinct and they shared a kiss which expressed all of the feelings they had had to keep locked inside of themselves for almost three months. It was as if the world around them seemed to melt away and for the precious minutes in which they remained connected in this manner, nothing else seemed to matter. They had had their thirty minute love affair, they'd had their heartbreak at its abrupt ending and now they had one last chance to make this work and as they continued to kiss and to hold each other close, both of them knew it was not to be wasted...

* * *

**Ta da! This marks the end of the trilogy and I congratulate you if you're still awake to read this notice. I've really enjoyed writing them and I want to thank you all for all your support on them, you know I really wouldn't write at all if you didn't leave me such wonderful comments, it's nice to know that there is an audience for my work. I hope you liked this one and will let me know what you thought of it. **

**As an addition to my opening author's note, now that I've written it, can I just say I know nothing about the character of Jack Hodgson whatsoever and my attack on his character comes from the Tom shaped hole in Silent Witness and indeed from Nikki's fictional anger in this story. I do not claim ownership of the character or Nikki's reaction to him. This is all just a work of my overactive imagination! Also you may have noticed I also included a lyric from Paloma Faith's New York, which seemed to fit in at that moment so credit again must be afforded where it is due. **

**Please excuse any minor editorial mistakes, they are my own and I have tried to get them all. **

**I've got a couple more Nikki/ Harry one shots up my sleeve, you'll remember me saying, so holler if you would like to read them and I'll get typing. **

**Thanks again for taking the time to read, it is, as always much appreciated. **

_**X~Michelle~X**_


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